Little Snippets of Naruto
by lunarsolaces
Summary: A random compilation of stuff! Naruto characters, behind the scenes, and a decent size of WTFing Kishimoto! What a great day.
1. The Role Battle and Angry Pandas

_**Inspiration:**_ I just wanted to address some complaints about Naruto, mostly about how a so called prodigy thought going to a snake for power would be the right idea.

Disclaimer and a bunch of other hinky doodle, Naruto can never be my story, review (please) of what else you might like me to write about! (-3-)/

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Our lovely Pink Blossom lips spread thin after reading the latest script. Her temper growing to a popping point after every page.

"_Please Naruto! Help! Where are you!?" _Sakura roared, "I AM NOT GOING TO BE A USELESS NUMBSKULL AGAIN!" She grabbed a microphone stand and smacked Naruto upright the head.

"J-just for one m-more episode, S-sakura…" Naruto stuttered, keeling over and fainted from blood loss.

"THAT'S THE SAME EXCUSE YOU USED LAST TIME!" The pink haired kunoichi raged on the unconscious hero. Wrecking the voice recorder, cameras and the door to the studio, Jiraiya had trouble keeping tabs on how much of Sakura's pay check he needed to cut out for repairs.

A certain raven haired missing-nin shrugged, "Hey, at least you don't have to play the role of a delusional weirdo who can't go without saying or referencing revenge- revenge- revenge in every sentence…"

"Foolish brother, I'm the one who thought it was a good idea to traumatize you _into_ being a revenge obsessed imbecile, then I died by your idiotic hands." Itachi set down his plate of dango, reached over to grab Sasuke's costume and wiped his mouth on it.

"Hey!"

"We ran out of napkins last week, what do you expect me to do?"

Tobi dragged himself into the room, waving the script dismally, "I have to be a lollipop masked NOBODY! (Sniff) They could have at least gave me an awesome name!" Chibi tears leaked through the eye hole in the mask, while depressing music played from the violin.

Sakura snapped the violin in half. Jiraiya made another note.

Sasori grumbled, peeking his head through the broken doorway, "And I have to get destroyed by a retired old lady and a useless pink obsessed girl…"

When he turned around, two sets of glaring eyes bored murderously into his skull.

Deidara happened to be passing by as Chiyo ripped off Sasori's arm. "My death is even worse, un. I die by bombing! How sad is that, un? BOMBING IS MY LIFE, MY PROFESSION!" Deidara crossed his arms watching Sasori's head getting wrenched off, "Un."

"We will have to get you to see a therapist, one day, Deidara." Itachi sighed, crumpling up wrappers and lightly tossing them into the waste bin, "Pocky anyone?"

"What is up with you and sweets?" Sasuke asked, bewildered.

He sweat dropped when Anko waved wildly, "Pocky!" Cramping the room evermore further.

"You start treasuring whatever you get when you're a S-rank missing-nin," Itachi shrugged.

He sucked on a lollipop while Tobi wailed, "NO! MY BRETHREN!"

Orochimaru hissed, marching past the studio to the director's room, "I'm. A. Pedophile. What. Are. They. Thinking." With that, Sasuke broke into a hysterical laughter, not bothering with the dango stain anymore.

That was until Neiji interrupted with a depressing fact, "Don't even- Sasuke, you went to a pedophile on your own accord."

"...OHHHHH!" Kisame hollered across the room, arms in the air rock star style. His face was later occupied with dango sticks, with a fuming Sasuke holding a plate full of toothpicks.

"Thank god Itachi can eat dango fast when he feels like it," Sasuke's eyes narrowed, preparing another stick to throw, "We need another batch, brother."

Naruto finally recovered, resuming conversation like nothing unusual happened, "Gaara, I'd have to say, you're lucky."

"How so?" The Tanuki's Jinchuuriki applied a thick set of eyeliner.

Naruto grumbled, "You don't have to be the idiot for the whole show, gah, I think I lost my brain cells!"

"You mean 'I am losing' your brain cells." Gaara snapped away the eyeliner and pulled out some lipstick, readdressing his "kanji of love" as Naruto would put it.

"EXACTLY!" Naruto's hands flung up into the air, exasperated. Accidentally knocking Gaara's arm off course, smothering his face with the lipstick.

Kankurou slinked over, "Gaara! You're finally trying out war paint! Although red wouldn't be my first option..."

"NARUTO!" Gaara's killing intent flared dramatically, "I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY MY PART LOOKING LIKE A MOTHER OF WAR! GET ME SOME NAPKINS!"

"But we ran out…"

"Then GO BUY SOME!" Naruto looked down into his wallet, dismayed as a fly flew out.

"I barely even get a part!" Tenten wailed, everyone turned around. Whispering demoralizing comments…(_Who is she again?) (I don't know, but she looks like a panda.)_

That day, everybody had to go into hiding or else they would have been hunted down and severely disfigured by an Old lady, a Cherry Blossom, and a Panda.

"AH, HA!" Mandara screeched, orchestrating a victory dance, "KISHIMOTO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO KILL MEH! BEAT THAT SUCKERS!"

CLANG!

"Die. A. Painful. Death." Sakura hissed, hitting the man with a dinner plate on every word said.


	2. Fishing

Inspiration: People always exaggerate how late Kakashi arrives to train our Golden Trio, at a maximum of **Two Hours** what do the Genin do in their free time?

Disclaimer and bleh, Naruto will never be mine. Leave a suggestion on what I could try writing about next please? Writer's block is a nasty parasite.

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Team 7 settled into a routine of waiting for their Sensei, one of them would bring in a game and teach the others how to play. It took Sasuke a while to accept the fact -as much as he tries to deny it- training all morning isn't all that smart. From experience, our raven haired Uchiha could say as much, even though Kakashi was a lazy butt head, he _knew_ how to work the Genin to their bones. Sakura had no problems with this, agreeing in the end if she was allowed to nestle next to her crush. Naruto was seen to have a prankster grin plastered all over his face.

From an unanimous vote, the trio agreed to ban Naruto from bringing in any games for a month, after attempting to play spin the bottle with Sakura only (Sakura wished for eternity). Goings only got worse when Sasuke and Sakura started to play games only they themselves could understand, Naruto just stood in the sidelines silently scratching his head. When either one of the two actually brought in a game all the Genin could play, the match commonly resulted in cursing and a lot of sparks flying behalf of Naruto and Sasuke.

Their routine lead into Summer, the blistering sun offered no amount of consultation. The competitive boys were at the cockiest madness one could ever achieve.

Naruto wiped sweat off from his hairline, "Teme, got any Kings?"

Sasuke looked up smugly from his hand, the heat increased ten-fold with the amount of tension floating aimlessly through the air. "Go. Fish." Naruto grumbled, slapping his hand onto the deck in the middle of the somewhat circle the triad had made. Lifting the card up, Naruto took one peek and fell backwards, cards flying. Spitting expletives in frustration, his cards softly landed on his chest.

"Sakura-chan, your turn."

"Naruto, do you have any Kings?" Innocently batting her eyelashes, yet expecting the Uzumaki's reaction, Sakura teasingly lifted the King away from Naruto's trembling fingers.

All eyes fell on Sasuke, who fiddled with his hand, "Dobe, do you have any Sevens?" Naruto glanced down at his chest, slowly flipping each card over.

"Why thank you, Dobe, I believe I won. Three times in a row, what luck."

Naruto scream.

Naruto yell.

Naruto very angry.

"You're cheating! You're cheating!" Naruto threw his cards down, stomping aggressively over a patch of flowers. Not that he needed to, the plant life was already dying from the unexplainable heat.

Sakura grew a tick mark whilst the Uchiha's face was completely shadowed.

"Excuse me, dobe. Can you repeat what you said?" Eerie silence wafted through the ten seconds of dread hanging onto the air.

_**O.O.O Timeskip O.O.O**_

"Are you telling me-" The Third Hokage clarified, "-Our Uzumaki and the Last Uchiha have gone missing in _Konoha_, and you claim Kakashi - your Sensei- is at fault here for being quote unquote, 'a lazy bastard'?"

Sakura shrugged, "Never underestimate Fish."


End file.
